Sun 18 Sep 2005
This is another topic inspired from my last trip. I noticed something almost everywhere I went that made me think .
I dont know if it was just our luck, but during our trip to London, all the women seemed to either be pregnant or have a baby in a carriage and they traveled in herds! I remember at one coffee shop my wife and I noticed 4 fully pregnant women sitting together, and at another cafe, there were 4 different women with their baby carriages sitting together! Its a rare sight to see a fully pregnant woman walking around in Kuwait, and it is even rarer to see a Kuwaiti women with a trolley or baby carriage.
Oh yeah, and guess what? Obviously NONE of them had maids! Since we got back, I have seen 3 families (I only went to Souq Sharq) consisting of a father, mother, baby, and maid! So the 2 parents cant handle the tiny little kid?! Or are they not bothered to spend time with the kid?
I remember a disgusting sight I witnessed a couple of years ago. I went to starbucks, and I saw a girl that I know, she was there with her baby boy (less than 4 yrs old), and TWO maids! Not just one maid, but TWO!! She actually sat at a table alone reading her newspaper and drinking her coffee, while her son was sitting at a different table with the two maids, who were feeding him his croissant or whatever it was he was eating!! Absolutely disgusting scene!
I dont get it!
What happened to our women here in Kuwait? Why is it that almost everytime I see a young mother with her kid, she always has a maid with them?! There really is no excuse for that!
Kuwaiti women have one of, if not the longest maternal leaves in the world (read something about that last yr in the newspaper). They definitely don’t have the 9-5 schedule that is followed in England and other countries. They have more support from family here in Kuwait than they do in England, because of our culture which is heavily influenced by family ties.
What is it then? Why do women here automatically have to get a maid as soon as they have a kid?! Are we as Kuwaitis so lazy? or is it that our society is so dependant on others in everything that we even use help to raise our own kids?? How can a mother or father even feel comfortable with a stranger taking care of their kid when he or she starts crying at night or whatever?
I don’t have any children yet, and my wife and I hopefully do not plan to have a kid in the near future. Inshalla some day definitely, but not quite yet. I would love to know what you women out there think about this, and especially any mothers.
I remember when we first got married, people automatically started recommending maids for us! I cannot imagine having a stranger live in the same apartment that my wife and I live in! It would be extremely uncomfortable for everyone, and why in the world would two people in their twenties need a full time maid?! We do get someone to come and help once or twice a week for less than 1 hour, and even that is a luxury and nothing more.
This topic will be discussed again soon with a related issue….I want ur thoughts and ideas first.
28 Responses to “Kuwaiti women and maids….”
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September 18th, 2005 at 2:13 am
Hiya Q
Great topic. I’ve often wondered about that myself and finally came to the conclusion that it has to do with status. Wealthy families all over the world hire helpers (maids) for their children. Sometimes even 4 helpers per child. That’s especially true when you go to specific towns or cities or what have you, whose majority are made up of wealthy people.
September 18th, 2005 at 2:13 am
“Are we as Kuwaitis so lazy? or is it that our society is so dependant on others in everything that we even use help to raise our own kids??”
Bingo!
Dear Q: Is there a joy more delightful and luxurious than raising ones own children? Nope! More and more our people and culture are becoming more and more artificial. Sometimes I wish for a cosmic catastrophe to shake what constitutes the foundation of our society. Wake up people, you are loosing touch with humanity!
September 18th, 2005 at 2:23 am
D&G, I thought about that, but to be realistic, for someone to live in London, u have to be making a good income. I am sure many of the people I saw there make alot more and have more money than many Kuwaitis who live on bank loans and aqsaa6! It goes beyond having money. Even if they do have a maid and can afford one, have u ever seen someone go out with their kids and the maid? The maid does not raise the kids there, in Kuwait, many children speak fluent Hindi or Filipino min kithir the time they spent with their maids!
q80demon, I totally agree with u! I dont think there is a greater joy than raising ur own child! Walla like u said, our society is getting extremely artificial and materialistic! The problem is, with this trend, how much worse can it go?
September 18th, 2005 at 4:15 am
Shda3wa Q? Maku salaam? Tara ilsalaam lallah
Oops, in my first comment I meant to say “whose majority is made up of wealthy people instead of “whose majority are made up of wealthy people”. My bad hehe
I also apologize for not explaining clearly but I did not mean to stress “wealth”. My aim was to stress “status”. My whole first comment was worded incorrectly.
Status is why I think most kuwaity families have helpers to raise their children as opposed to raising their children themselves. That does not mean that I think kuwaity couples lack the ability to raise their children by themselves ‘cuz a lot of single parents worldwide have managed.
Yes, I have seen non-kuwaity families out with their helpers. Are you familier with the term “nanny” or “au pair”? As I said before, it is a status symbol of sorts. The “helpers” over in London or wherever, might be dressed better, well educated, etc… but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, they’re still helpers who have been hired by parents to take care of and raise their children. Kuwait is not the only country that does this.
As for kuwaity kids speaking the language of their helpers, a lot of non-kuwaity kids all over the world can fluently speak the language of their helpers in turn. For example let’s say an american family has hired a nanny from mexico. There’s a major possibility that the kids will speak spanish fluently. Although I think the languages the children can speak is neither here nor there but I see your point. Personally, if I ever have kids and choose to leave them with a nanny, maid, helper, or what have you, and they happened to learn another language? I’d be psyched that my kid learned to speak a whole other language fluently, regardless whether it’s “Hindi or Filipino”.
In all places over the world where the majority is rich(er), the focus tends to shift on materialistic things such as designer clothes, cars, etc… which basically backs up my status theory.
I’ve seldom heard of a Kuwaity family that lives without a helper in Kuwait although they can afford to. I’m not passing judgement on anyone here so please do not take offense. I’m just stating that it’s uncommon, and fits right in with my “status” theory, is all. Kuwait is all about status.
September 18th, 2005 at 7:01 am
you see what your Mind want to notice , you are thinking of a baby so you see a lot of pregnet women
i don’t think of one , last pregnet woman i saw was 5 month ago
September 18th, 2005 at 8:26 am
obviously none of you have kids
September 18th, 2005 at 8:45 am
I want to comment, but since I just woke up, I will not.
September 18th, 2005 at 8:52 am
Q… great minds indeed!
I’m not against having nannies at all, it’s just that their roles have to be clearly defined and they should be treated with respect because they left their families and probably their own children to earn some money raising some spoiled brats!
Dragging them out in public, outside the house, on weekends, IN THEIR UNIFORMS, is downright humiliating and cruel!
See my blog for more
September 18th, 2005 at 10:40 am
I was very saddened by the sight in Regents Park this summer.
A young girl around 8 or 9- looked like she was from the Gulf area- on roller blades escorted by : One Asian woman, one Asian Man, and Two British men in Suits . All hovering about her, suffocating her, as she tried to play.
Where are her parents?
If you cannot spend time raising your children, then don’t have any. Simple. They are only young for a very short while.
September 18th, 2005 at 11:35 am
There is no need for a whole army of helpers for a single child..unfortunately what happens when you do get someone to help (even if you have thought about the boundaries before) you end up cheating and saying ‘oh i’ll just let them hold her a little longer while I finish this up, oh i’ll just leave her with them while we have lunch..etc.. the child should be hanging out with you no matter what you do, if you are at home..let the baby/child eat with you..lie on it’s mat while you work or relax or watch tv..whatever..you don’t have to be in the child’s face all the time, you can do your own thing and the baby will discover the world in the room with you..and as for going out with the child..what could be more fun than watching your child react to the world around them and knowing that they can rely on you to answer their questions and enjoy the day with them..and you can certainly read a paper and have lunch even while your kid is at the table with you without help..our parents did it..we had colouring books and toys or just sat and enjoyed our food..and if you need someone to be with the child because you work and are not home, I think it would be super to have the child learn a language in addition to their own..but as long as it isn’t because they don’t know their OWN language because their parents never interacted with them..and it breaks my heart to see the child happier at seeing the nanny than at seeing the mother or father..it’s sad for the parents and for the child and for the nanny who left her own kids at home and replaced them with someone else’s child.
September 18th, 2005 at 11:44 am
We didn’t do the nanny/maid thing in my immediate family. We were all raised by our wonderful mother and I will do the same for my kids as well. I really don’t understand why women get pregnant because “it’s time” and then dump their kids on unschooled beings coming from rural, muddy areas from the poorest places on earth. How can I trust my child, my own blood, with a stranger? I guess it’s also associated with how one was brought up; if someone had a nanny/maid looking after him/her when they were a kid, they would be open to the idea for their own kids because they would see it as something normal, a given. Tsk tsk.
September 18th, 2005 at 1:23 pm
I agree with what your saying Q it is a very unpleasant sight.
Its is also unhealthy for the baby to be thrown into the hands of uneducated nannies. That is why I’m very picky about who i let into my house. And when I choose a7i6hum foq i3youni. I consider their needs before mine.
Its not easy raising a child alone but as I see it it is only help they are providing and not in any way are they raising the kids at least not mine.
Please don’t compare us to the west because there the dads help out and they are part of the upbringing process however here it is very very rare that you see a father involved in his children’s lives leaving the mother to do all the tough work in addition to her job and other obligations as well.
I dont think its status, it has just become the norm.
La ew al7een habbeen bil nurses for newborns. i personally reject the idea and people are astonished when they know that i’m not hiring a nurse for the postpartum period. Now whats that all about?!
September 18th, 2005 at 1:24 pm
Ok great topic, well c if women get a maid once the have their kid because the man never help out with the kid specially in his first 5 years the most difficult ya3ny if i would be in such situation alone without someone else help me specially the father i would get a divorce, the point is one person can’t handle kids from age 0-5 years i worked with those ages and believe me i couldnt concentrate on my self.
But true there are some women who really can’t live without their maid, i know a lady who has 3 kids ages : 13,10,7 ans each one of the kids has his own maid (reja3na lezaman al 3abeed)
but about the family you mentioned maybe they wanted to take their maid out but they forgot to tell her to dress normally~~!! usually every first sunday of each month you would see me with our maids going out for movie or a dinner or coffee.. but on the same table though
September 18th, 2005 at 4:02 pm
Q just check this , it’s called ‘The Fashionable Mama, or The Convenience of Modern Dress’ (1796).
And true, it is a shame that kuwaiti mothers spend less time with their kids; but remember, most of them were urged by their mothers to have kids early, so it wasn’t their personal wish.
September 18th, 2005 at 4:10 pm
It’s not only dependence on others. It became a social bragging right. People now brag about how many maids they have, where they’re from, how old they are, how efficient they are, etc etc.
This soceity is sinking in sickness more and more.
September 18th, 2005 at 4:59 pm
hi i found this blog on zaydound’s, q u sound exactly like an old friend we miss!anyway this topic is somthing we talk about everyday so i had to post something here too!
my husband and i r enjoying our 11 months old baby, we love spending
every waking moment together the three of us, we take him everywhere we
go of course and he sleeps right next to us, we enjoy watching him while
hes sleeping too, its a beautiful joyful experience, rewarding too. i can
not imagine any other way of doing it.
we have been together almost 5 years before we thought of having a baby,
and we made sure we r more than ready for this new love in our life. we
never had a housemaid to clean after us although we both worked, we
enjoyed the mess we make, the cleaning up, and living together just the
two of us without a stranger who would make us feel like a couple of
spoiled lazy shesma.
back in my fathers house we never asked the maid to bring us water, the
cooking was done by either my mother or father, my father is the one who
puts the dishwasher on, my mother was the on who puts the washing machine
on, my father taught us not to make a mess in the kitchen while cooking,
we thought it was rude to leave things behind us for the maids to clean,
and maids at my fathers home do not wear this ugly uniform, they wear
wht ever they like, just like we do, this method seems to work for us, my
family never had problems with maids, they were all nice and we r friends
with all of them they still write to my family and call on certain
occasions.
my husband always admired my fathers ways and he is competing with him
for the best man on the planet award, before we got married he spend two
years in the military kolleya and before that he was in the states so he
was pretty used to cleaning up and not having help around, in fact, he
talks about how much it bothers him to have maids control the household.
after the baby, all of kuwait seemed to be bothered by our decision that
no stranger is to touch our child, it seems like it bothered people to
know that we enjoy changing his diapers, it was frowned upon that my
child sleeps in the same room with us and not with a total stranger in
the next room, everywhere we go people seem to be asking us is he keeping
u up all night and telling us about the hard times we should be going
through and that a maid is a must because we just wont be able to handle
it. and that ur husband must be feeling jealous of the baby or that i
should leave him with somebody and go for a movie or a romantic dinner
and that a maid will make it easier for my husband and i to madree shino,
and isnt ur husband scared to hold him??
not only we didnt understand most of what they were talking about, but as
a breastfeeding mother these comments offended me, why would he keep me
up all night? when he is right next to me feeding while im asleep even,
and how could i leave him and take off to enjoy a romantic dinner and not
think of the biggest diamond we own, i thought the comments under
estimate my husband and how much he loves me and loves the result of our
love which is our child. my husband thought people were just sad to even
think these thoughts but they do not know better and we can not judge
them for it, ( when u know better you do better) we just feel sorry that
they r not enjoying the happy times like we r, to think of all the
potential for happiness every couple could have, its such a waste.
the biggest thing that disturbed ppl seems to be me leaving work to stay
with the baby, and im one of the very few kuwaiti girls who actually
likes their job, i absolutely loved my job, loved the place, the people
and the actual work itself, i cant think of one thing that bothered me
there and its the job i always dreamed of doing, and i absolutely do not
regret leaving it for my baby, its only humane to stay with a baby who
needs mammy, a baby should breastfeed on demand for 2 years.if you r not
up for the challenge, please dont have children just because everybody is
asking, r u pregnant/?? when will u get pregnant??? how many years have u
been married??dont do it for people, do it when u r ready, being a mammy
is a full time job,think of it as ur new job, my new job at home makes me
feel soo human, soo happy, soo valuable.
i see my friends going back to work after 2 months or even less after
giving birth, when all they do is complain about their job, and i dont
think that they r desperate for the money, they need the money to buy all
the expensive clothes bags and shoes for work, but if u stopped going to
work you will be needing less money anyway. shopping has a different
meaning now, i seem to be on the look out for any baby stuff when ever we
go shopping.
my husband and i have this little game we play when we r out, its called
counting the parents with maids behind game, most of them r young parents
our age, the maid is usually in a humiliating uniform, no girl will feel
flattered wearing, she is carrying all the shopping bags wel rayyal
kashekh o emghatter o mo shayel shay ( etha mo mashee jedam murta ba3ad),
o ba3ad she is carrying the baby aw etdez el 3arabana, treated only like
a slave or something they own, this ugly piture is a reflection of who we
r as a nation, dependant lazy careless arrogant ignorant spoiled, it
hurts
saying these things but sometimes thats how i see it, when my husband
points out something negative about kuwaities and say his famous phrase
” only in kuwait” i usually think, the way we treat children is a mirror
of who we really r, inside. and our children is a mirror of our nation..
i do not want to see lazy children speak fluent Filipino or Hindi eating
icecream and washing it down with starbux moka madree shino and their
only form of exercise is playstation games, asking the maid to bring
them pepsi and going to el fer3 for more sugar, no self education or any
form of reading other than the reading they r forced to take in school,
which will do them little or no good,i do not wish for kuwait to be this
way.
yes my life is changing, i do not know why people assume change is not
good..i was happy before the baby, im happy after the baby.. and nothing
breaks our hearts more than a baby attached to his maid and not the
mother, in fact he screams when the mother wants to hold him and finds
comfort in the maids hug, this happened once in front of us and the lady
was soo embarrassed, nothing disturbs us more than the sight of a child
speaks looks and smells like his maid..
not to mention how the maids r treated, a girl i know keeps referring to
the maid who cleans her bathrooms, cooks, feeds and puts the child to
sleep, takes all kinds of insults from ma3azeebha, washes the dishes
wipes the floor, “a nanny”, she keeps calling her that, she is not a
nanny she is a hero for putting up with all of this.
i will not go into horror stories about maids and how they take out their
frustration with the way they r treated on the children, and i will not
talk about the cultural differences .. but im talking about a basic right
of a child to be cared for by the couple who conceived him. its only
right, its only humane.
i know i should end this long “comment” now, but i can not leave without
recommending two of our favorite books for new parents out there, the
natural child by jan hunt, and how to raise a healthy child in spite of
your dr, by dr robert s mendhelson. you will absolutely love them.
September 18th, 2005 at 5:05 pm
hi i found this blog on zaydound’s, q u sound exactly like an old friend we miss!anyway this topic is somthing we talk about everyday so i had to post something here too!
my husband and i r enjoying our 11 months old baby, we love spending
every waking moment together the three of us, we take him everywhere we
go of course and he sleeps right next to us, we enjoy watching him while
hes sleeping too, its a beautiful joyful experience, rewarding too. i can
not imagine any other way of doing it.
we have been together almost 5 years before we thought of having a baby,
and we made sure we r more than ready for this new love in our life. we
never had a housemaid to clean after us although we both worked, we
enjoyed the mess we make, the cleaning up, and living together just the
two of us without a stranger who would make us feel like a couple of
spoiled lazy shesma.
back in my fathers house we never asked the maid to bring us water, the
cooking was done by either my mother or father, my father is the one who
puts the dishwasher on, my mother was the on who puts the washing machine
on, my father taught us not to make a mess in the kitchen while cooking,
we thought it was rude to leave things behind us for the maids to clean,
and maids at my fathers home do not wear this ugly uniform, they wear
wht ever they like, just like we do, this method seems to work for us, my
family never had problems with maids, they were all nice and we r friends
with all of them they still write to my family and call on certain
occasions.
my husband always admired my fathers ways and he is competing with him
for the best man on the planet award, before we got married he spend two
years in the military kolleya and before that he was in the states so he
was pretty used to cleaning up and not having help around, in fact, he
talks about how much it bothers him to have maids control the household.
after the baby, all of kuwait seemed to be bothered by our decision that
no stranger is to touch our child, it seems like it bothered people to
know that we enjoy changing his diapers, it was frowned upon that my
child sleeps in the same room with us and not with a total stranger in
the next room, everywhere we go people seem to be asking us is he keeping
u up all night and telling us about the hard times we should be going
through and that a maid is a must because we just wont be able to handle
it. and that ur husband must be feeling jealous of the baby or that i
should leave him with somebody and go for a movie or a romantic dinner
and that a maid will make it easier for my husband and i to madree shino,
and isnt ur husband scared to hold him??
not only we didnt understand most of what they were talking about, but as
a breastfeeding mother these comments offended me, why would he keep me
up all night? when he is right next to me feeding while im asleep even,
and how could i leave him and take off to enjoy a romantic dinner and not
think of the biggest diamond we own, i thought the comments under
estimate my husband and how much he loves me and loves the result of our
love which is our child. my husband thought people were just sad to even
think these thoughts but they do not know better and we can not judge
them for it, ( when u know better you do better) we just feel sorry that
they r not enjoying the happy times like we r, to think of all the
potential for happiness every couple could have, its such a waste.
the biggest thing that disturbed ppl seems to be me leaving work to stay
with the baby, and im one of the very few kuwaiti girls who actually
likes their job, i absolutely loved my job, loved the place, the people
and the actual work itself, i cant think of one thing that bothered me
there and its the job i always dreamed of doing, and i absolutely do not
regret leaving it for my baby, its only humane to stay with a baby who
needs mammy, a baby should breastfeed on demand for 2 years.if you r not
up for the challenge, please dont have children just because everybody is
asking, r u pregnant/?? when will u get pregnant??? how many years have u
been married??dont do it for people, do it when u r ready, being a mammy
is a full time job,think of it as ur new job, my new job at home makes me
feel soo human, soo happy, soo valuable.
i see my friends going back to work after 2 months or even less after
giving birth, when all they do is complain about their job, and i dont
think that they r desperate for the money, they need the money to buy all
the expensive clothes bags and shoes for work, but if u stopped going to
work you will be needing less money anyway. shopping has a different
meaning now, i seem to be on the look out for any baby stuff when ever we
go shopping.
my husband and i have this little game we play when we r out, its called
counting the parents with maids behind game, most of them r young parents
our age, the maid is usually in a humiliating uniform, no girl will feel
flattered wearing, she is carrying all the shopping bags wel rayyal
kashekh o emghatter o mo shayel shay ( etha mo mashee jedam murta ba3ad),
o ba3ad she is carrying the baby aw etdez el 3arabana, treated only like
a slave or something they own, this ugly piture is a reflection of who we
r as a nation, dependant lazy careless arrogant ignorant spoiled, it hurts
saying these things but sometimes thats how i see it, when my husband
points out something negative about kuwaities and say his famous phrase
” only in kuwait” i usually think, the way we treat children is a mirror
of who we really r, inside. and our children is a mirror of our nation..
i do not want to see lazy children speak fluent Filipino or Hindi eating
icecream and washing it down with starbux moka madree shino and their
only form of exercise is playstation games, asking the maid to bring
them pepsi and going to el fer3 for more sugar, no self education or any
form of reading other than the reading they r forced to take in school,
which will do them little or no good,i do not wish for kuwait to be this
way.
yes my life is changing, i do not know why people assume change is not
good..i was happy before the baby, im happy after the baby.. and nothing
breaks our hearts more than a baby attached to his maid and not the
mother, in fact he screams when the mother wants to hold him and finds
comfort in the maids hug, this happened once in front of us and the lady
was soo embarrassed, nothing disturbs us more than the sight of a child
speaks looks and smells like his maid..
not to mention how the maids r treated, a girl i know keeps referring to
the maid who cleans her bathrooms, cooks, feeds and puts the child to
sleep, takes all kinds of insults from ma3azeebha, washes the dishes
wipes the floor, “a nanny”, she keeps calling her that, she is not a
nanny she is a hero for putting up with all of this.
i will not go into horror stories about maids and how they take out their
frustration with the way they r treated on the children, and i will not
talk about the cultural differences .. but im talking about a basic right
of a child to be cared for by the couple who conceived him. its only
right, its only humane.
i know i should end this long “comment” now, but i can not leave without
recommending two of our favorite books for new parents out there, the
natural child by jan hunt, and how to raise a healthy child in spite of
your dr, by dr robert s mendhelson. you will absolutely love them.
September 18th, 2005 at 6:19 pm
I have been reading you blog for long time, and this is the first time I comment, I totally agree with you about the maids, when I go married we had only part time helper and we had a full time helper after month had my baby.
Last summer I went with husband to khiran clinic, while I was waiting for my husband in the car guess what? car stopped next to ours little girl about 9 or 10 yrs with her nanny and the driver went in, it was late at night, it broke my heart, where is her parents!!! How they send there girl with maid and driver to the clinic!!
You should see the maids and the drivers in school when they pick the kids, shay yefashel.
September 18th, 2005 at 10:32 pm
Maids are like tattoos, they are addictive, the are cheap, why not collect them all,….Joke apart, I agree with you, but here’s the funny thing, I bet you a hundred dinars that you will get one once you have a kid (not that I agree with it, but I like my odds)….
September 18th, 2005 at 11:47 pm
Afa Q,
I find this post sexist.
How come your title says Kuwaiti “women” and maids?
Why not Kuwaiti families.. parents..?
Shurouq, feministly
(What happened to Gigi?)
September 19th, 2005 at 12:14 am
D&G, salaaaaaaaaaaam 7aaaar lilkul il7athreeen
regarding the issue, how many times have u seen a nanny or au pair holding the child’s hand or carrying the child while the mother is with them publicly? Thats the main difference, not just wijoodhum, its the total dependance on raising kids by them! If it does happen outside, no way does it even come close to how often it happens here in Kuwait!
forza, im not thinking of a baby yet ;P The reason i noticed was that in a small starbucks, 4 of the 7 people there were pregnant, u cant not notice that! After that, i started looking for it sicne I thought about itt, ur probably right!
elastic plastic, do u? If u do, please share ur thoughts! And we had the comments of one person with kids so far!
Purg, a7san ;P
Zaydoun, I totally agree with the respect aspect! At first I thought I wrote about the same issue, but ashwa they;re dif. Urs is more about the lack or respect towards maids in Kuwait, mine is about the total dependance on them in Kuwait.
Jewaira, I love this part: “They are only young for a very short while.” I wish more ppl would realize that!
kwtia, as usual, ur absolutely spot on! Very well said!
erzulie, the getting pregnant bcz “its time” like u said, could be a major reason for the maid phenomenon. And a good point on the fact that most of these house maids come from rural areas from poor countries and without any education! I wouldnt trust someone like that with driving my car for valet (and im not someone who cares about my car), how would itrust someone like that with the most precious thing in the world? I dont mean any disrespect to any maids obviously! They are here trying to make a living for themselves and their family by sacrificing their own lives, but the fact remains that most of them are not highly educated or trained.
a3sab, the fathers’ lack of sense or responsibility, or more specificially the confusion of the role of a father in our society is another great point. Women are not totally alone to blame. As for the nurse, I couldnt believe it when I found out that someone I know (my age and recently married) hired a nurse when she had a kid, to join the two housemaids that person already has! That is just ridiculous!
judy, hmmm, i might have seen u then. I remember seeing a young lady with a freind and an elderly lady who seemed to be from the Philipines. Have u been to Edo a few weeks ago?
shosho, lol, i wish that dress would be in fashion now ;P
Jandeef, ur right, where and how can we cure it though?
we love kuwait, first of all, thanks for the great comment! Allah ikhaleelikum ur child o ikhaleekum 7eg ba3ath! Beautiful mentality and I hope more people are like u!
Second of all, I think I know u, and u know me. Did i bump into u and ur husband and child at coffee bean and tea leaf??
If so, and ur the person im thinking of, I have to tell everyone that seeing ur family together was a beautiful scene. Mashalla 3alaikum o inshalla forever! And u can really feel that the child is surrounded by a healthy loving caring family and atmosphere!
goosoosh, walla reading about the child at the clinic breaks my heart. That child will grow with the feeling of comfort coming from being around the people who take care of her and were helping her when in need, and unfortunately, it was not her parents.
panda, why do u say that? My wife and I have an agreement not to have a maid when we have a child. We will do our best, and then we have our parents (alla i6awil ib 3umurhum) to help at any time. We both want the child to be raised by family and the love and caring that comes with that!
September 19th, 2005 at 12:18 am
Shurouq, read my repsonse to a3sab. She mentioned the father factor and I admit she is totally right. Its not something that I thought about to start with, but it could be a main reason along with the speed pregnancy thing where women apparently think they have to be pregnant as soon as they’re married.
Q, apologetically ;P
September 19th, 2005 at 1:05 am
oh no i was few weeks ago there but with my mother
only
September 19th, 2005 at 1:05 am
I tend to think of nannies and maids as a need when necessary. I’m with Q, the idea of having a stranger at home is awkward. Especially for couples. It just limits your romance to your bedroom, which I think is the least romantic place for newly-weds.
But realisticaly, I don’t mind it when it’s a need. There’s no problem with having a baby sitter while the parents are at work. But when they’re back home, what’s the need for her? She’s only there coze neither parent wants to deal with his child’s #2 for example, or dealing with their crying.
In many instances, i’m seeing the only interaction the mother is having with her baby is breast feeding. I wonder if one day we’ll import breast feeders too!
Forget about taking your maids out with you and making them part of the family. Many families don’t even give them a day-holiday for a breather. Even machines need a break to cool down.
September 19th, 2005 at 10:06 am
those who were extremely midal3eenas kids and where canstantly with their maids and did with them as they pleased pass the same mentality to their own kids.. obviously u didnt go thru that gross phenomenon.. in our house we werent even allowed to ask the maids to get us stupid things that we could go do ourselves, like a glass of water, or a juice or something.. we could only ask for things that we didnt know how to do and ect.. like breakfast or to iron a particular shirt quickly since i was leaving in 2 minutes.. and we always had to say please
i love that i was taught that and i still practice it.. it greatly saddens me to see the treatment of many maids here in kuwait especially by little shits that dont get put in their place by their parents >:(
September 19th, 2005 at 12:05 pm
I think everyones comments speak for themselves. I rememeber how my mom exserted all of her energy on her 3 kids before starting her cureer up all over again-we ate lunch together every day regardless of how sporadic our scheduals were-Sundays/Fridays were family days no matter what. No matter how much us kids moaned and dismissed the idea in our early teens and wanted to venture off with our friends we were forced to spend time together. Today, although we all lead different lives we all share memorise, and a strong bond that stemed from that desipline-My point is it takes consistency, rythm, and beats to create a song.
My question is, whats up with little kids speaking tagalog in this country? (that sums it all)
September 23rd, 2005 at 11:21 pm
re kuwaiti women and maids
i am english living in kuwait and do notice that kuwaiti women rely on maids to look after their chidren.
but kuwait itself is not a child frendly place. have you ever tried to just go shopping with a child first of all pushing a pushchair through sand it impossible!!! the heat is scorching you have to be quick to get out of it especially with small children, there are no pavements as such and no parent parking spots but countless disable car spaces.
this is not a reason to realy on maids to bring your children up but they are useful when a mother needs to do daily errons like supermarket shopping. i always take my kids wherever i go and having someone with me helps as my husband works full time and the week end its just my husband and i.
i dont realy on my maid and god forbid her to raise my children!!
and i would never not involve them in my daily life.
it should be imbarrassing for kuwaitis to see that kuwaiti women cant cope with their own children but have time to plaster make up on their face and splashes of purfume. rather than take care of their children.
my children are my world and i love being a mother, motherhood is bloody hard work but at the end of the day it was my choice to bring children into the world making me responsible for them not a total stranger.
london uk is easier to bring up children as their are more facilities to help mothers like groups with other mothers where they can become friends and experiance motherhood together.
i always remember that their is a place in heaven for every mother and mothers that arnt mothers will not experiance that after life.
i have two very young children 3 months and 1.5 years old and i cant say life is not challanging but i would never off load to a maid only family and thats for an hour to two max!
my maid cleans and thats it! she does this to free my time, so i can teach my children values, morals and play.
alot of housing accomadation in kuwait is also not child friendly therefore making it again to difficult.
in uk you can just open your front door and take kids for a walk. here in kuwait you have to load the kids in the car make sure you have enough nappies to surive a mall trip just so your children can leave the house!!
life in kuwait itself does not help mothers therefore its nessasary to have someone to help. But i dissagree with this being a maid, families should play a larger role, grandmothers, sisters, friends and husbands (kuwaiti)
its not unusual for families to pull together in the uk and provide some help to mothers hell maids and nannies are like gold dust in uk.
i guess this comes form values and morals set by our mothers and mothers before them.
maids are tempermental and are only good to look after superfical things like our homes not our fleash and blood (children)
December 20th, 2005 at 10:41 am
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